Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Look, ask me when I get back from India, okay?

Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None – they’d rather sit in the dark.

Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.

Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb? A: So who wants to know? Why do *you* want to know? Are you a cop?

Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Virgos don’t have time to change their own lightbulbs. They’re too busy changing them for everyone else.

Q: How many Taureans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, but just *try* to convince them that the burnt out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

Q: How many Taureans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: Taureans don’t like to change anything.

Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.

Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Let’s see: One to spot the bulb, one to record the time the bulb burned out and the date it was bought, one to decide who’s fault it is the bulb burned out and ask why that brand was chosen in the first […]

Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Lightbulb? What lightbulb?

Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: A whole bunch: I can only keep them in the room long enough for them to give the bulb a quarter turn apiece.

Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out light bulb?