Waiter, waiter, this lobster’s only got one claw. It must have been in a fight, sir. Then bring me the winner.
Customer: What is this fly doing in my alphabet soup?Waiter: Probably learning to read.
“Waiter, waiter,there’s a hand in my soup.” “That’s not your soup, sir, that’s your finger bowl.”
Customer: Why does your sign say “Fine Dining”?Waiter: We can dream, can’t we?
Patron: Waiter, why is there a spider in my glass?Waiter: It scares away the flies.
Waiter, waiter! There’s a wasp in my dessert. So that’s where they go to in the winter.
Customer: Why doesn’t this restaurant have any specials?Waiter: Because nothing about this food is special.
Waiter (serving soup): It looks like rain today.Patron: Yes it does, but it smells like soup.
Customer: Do you have bacon and eggs on the menu:Waiter: No, we clean our menus regularly.
Customer: Why doesn’t your menu list prices?Waiter: We didn’t want to make you sick before the food does.
Waiter: If you know the food here is so lousy, why do you keep coming back?Customer: It reminds me of my ex-wife’s cooking.
