Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup !No its not, it’s a piece of dirt that looks like one !

Waiter, there is a spider drowning in my soup !It hardly looks deep enough to drown in sir !

Waiter, there is a worm on my plate !That’s not a worm sir, it’s your sausage ?

Waiter, there is a fly in my wine !Well you did ask for something with a little body in it!

Waiter, there is a fly in my soup !Yes sir, thats the manager, the last customer was a witch doctor !

Waiter, my lunch is talking to me !Well you did ask for a tongue sandwich !

Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup !Yes, it’s the rotting meat that attracts them !

Waiter, are there snails on the menu !Yes sir, they must have escaped from the kitchen !

Waiter: Why didn’t you make all the food on that long order?Cook: Because I’m a short order cook.

Customer: I didn’t order this.Waiter: I know, but your meal tastes worse.

Customer: Why is this sandwich half eaten? Waiter: I didn’t have time to finish it.

Waiter: Why are you taking so long to order?Diner: I can’t decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.