Waiter, this coffee tastes like dirt!Yes sir, thats because it was only ground this morning.

Waiter, there is a frog in my soup !Don’t worry sir there isn’t enough there to drown him !

Waiter, can you get rid of this fly in my starter !I can’t do that sir, he’s not had his main course yet !

Sir you haven’t touched your custard.I’m just waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampoline !

“Waiter!” shouted the furious diner, “How dare you serve me this! There’s a damn TWIG in my soup!””My apologies,” said the waiter. “I’ll inform the branch manager.”

CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig cooler? WAITER: Sure, spray him with a hose.

CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig shake? WAITER: Tell him the wolf is coming.

CUSTOMER: How do you make a pig float? WAITER: Just give him an inner tube.

Waiter! Waiter! This salad is frozen solid.Yes, sir. It’s the iceberg lettuce that does it.

Waiter, there is a bee in my alphabet soup !Yes sir, and I’m sure there is an A, C and all the other letters too !

Q: How many Waiters does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, even a burned out bulb can’t catch a waiters eye

Waiter, there is a fly in my soup !Hold on sir, I’ll get the fly spray !