What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas? A red jellyfish.
A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can’t help laughing and eventually says “Don’t you know there aren’t any apples on the tree yet?” “Yes,” said the snail, “but there will be by the time I get up there.”
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. “But will it be all right in the rain?” she asked anxiously. “Oh certainly, ma’am,” said the manager smoothly. “After all, you’ve never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?”
Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? No, they do everything on porpoise!
Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.