One goldfish to his tankmate: “If there’s no God, who changes the water?”
Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines? He drew 100 cats on the paper. He thought the teacher had said lions.
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why ? Because that was the end of May!
What happened to the lizard in the wizard’s garden pond? He had him newt-ered.
What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce.
If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called? Loch Jaws.
How do you shoot a great white shark? Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun!
Why don’t whales eat sushi very often?Of course whales like sushi. It’s just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.