What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower? A bat mat.

What do you call a vampire junkie? Count Drugula.

Why is Hollywood full of vampires? They need someone to play the bit parts.

Why wouldn’t the vampire eat his soup?It clotted.

Why was the young vampire a failure? Because he fainted at the sight of blood.

What is the vampire’s favorite slogan? Please Give Blood Generously.

What do vampires cross the sea in? Blood vessels.

What do vampire footballers have at half-time?Blood oranges.

Why did the vampire take up acting? It was in his blood.

Who plays center forward for the vampire football team? The ghoulscorer.

Which vampire ate the three bears’ porridge? Ghouldilocks.

Which vampire tried to eat James Bond? Ghouldfinger.