Why did the vampire have pedestrian eyes? They looked both ways before they crossed.

What do you call a vampire after it is one-year-old? A two-year-old vampire.

Why was the vampire thought of as simple-minded?Because he was a complete sucker.

What’s a vampire’s favorite hobby? In-grave-ing.

How do you join a Vampire Fan Club? Send your name, address and blood group.

How does a vampire enter his house? Through the bat flap.

Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin? Because his life is at stake.

How does a vampire clean his house? With a victim cleaner.

What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower? A bat mat.

What do you call a vampire junkie? Count Drugula.

What is a vampire’s favorite sport? Batminton.

Why do vampires hate arguments? Because they make themselves cross.