Doctor, doctor, I think I’ve been bitten by a vampire. Drink this glass of water. Will it make me better? No, but I’ll be able to see if your neck leaks.

What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening? Have a nice bite!

Why did the vampire go to hospital?He wanted his ghoulstones removed.

How does Dracula keep fit? He plays batminton.

What’s it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight? Necking.

What does Dracula say when you tell him a new fact? Well, fangcy that!

Where is Dracula’s American office? The Vampire State Building.

Did you know that Dracula wants to become a comedian? He’s looking for a crypt writer.

Did you hear about the vampire who joined an orchestra? He stood on the roof and conducted lightning.

Why did Dracula go to the orthodontist? He wanted to improve his bite.

What is Dracula’s favorite pudding? Leeches and scream.

What’s a vampire’s favorite hobby? In-grave-ing.