What do vampires make sandwiches out of? Self-raising dead.

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail? I don’t know but it would slow him down.

Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose? He was a ghoulsnif fer.

What’s a vampire’s favorite drink? A Bloody Mary.

Why are vampire families so close? Because blood is thicker than water.

Which flavor ice cream is Dracula’s favorite? Vein-illa.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?A bite in shining armor.

Why is it tough to compete against a vampire? Because they’re always out for blood!

Did you hear about the vampire in Camelot? He was a bite of the Round Table!

What does a vampire take for a cold? Coffin syrup!

Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?It wanted to play squash.

What’s pink, lives in a sty and drinks blood? A hampire.