A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida. “Is it true,” he asked, “that an alligator won’t attack you if you carry a flashlight?””That depends,” replied the guide, “on how fast you carry the flashlight.”

“Look, guide, here are some LION tracks.””Good. You see where they go and I’ll find out where they came from.”

A person checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room. Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, “You’ve given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?”The desk clerk says, “Sir, that’s absurd. Have you looked for the door?”The person says, ” […]

A farmer, who went to a big city to see the sights, asked the hotel’s clerk about the time of meals.”Breakfast is served from 7 to 11, dinner from 12 to 3, and supper from 6 to 8,” explained the clerk.”Look here,” inquired the farmer in surprise, “when am I going to get time to […]

There was some mix-up with a woman’s room. Theclerk (or whatever they are called on ships) wastrying to remedy the situation. He asked, “Would youlike an inside cabin or an outside cabin?” Shereplied, “Well, it looks like it might rain today.I’d better get an inside cabin.”

Someone — always a man — always asks, “does theship run on generators?” The Cruise Director usuallytells them, “No, we just have a very long power linerunning to the mainland.”

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown.started to explain the length of the flight and the passportinformation when she interrupted me with “I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts.” Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, […]

The frightened tourist: “Are there any bats in this cave?”The guide: “There were, but don’t worry, the snakes ate all of them.”

The tourist: “Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park Sites?”

A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and anolder gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showingthe glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had agood week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him arare feeling of generosity. He called them into his […]

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote:”I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at […]

A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side […]