What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? Time to get a new car.
If twenty dogs run after one cat, what time is it? Twenty after one.
Customer: I’d like a watch that tells time.Clerk: Don’t you have a watch that tells time?Customer: No, you have to look at it.
For a weddin’ present Ledbetter gave his son Amos two hundred dollars. Two weeks later he asked him, “W’atcha do with the money, son?” “Ah bought me a wristwatch, Pappy!” answered the boy. “Yew dumb ignoramous!” yelled his father. “Yew should ‘av bought yoreself a rifle!” “A rifle? What fer?” “Suppos’n one day yew cum […]
‘I hope you’re not one of those boys who sits and watches the school clock,’ said the principal to a new boy.’No, Sir. I’ve got a digital watch that bleeps at three-fifteen.’
A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on […]
How can you tell when witches are carrying a time bomb? You can hear their brooms tick!
A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,”You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer.”
