Caller: My goodness, Operator! Your nose is so stuffed up, I can’t understand you. You should really take something for that cold. Operator: Good idea. I’ll take the rest of the day off!

What do you get if you cross a telephone with a fat football player? A wide receiver.

What do you get if you cross a telephone with a night crawler? Ringworm!

How do scaredy-cats answer the phone? Yellow?

How do, like, really laid-back types answer the phone? Mellow.

Why did the chicken walk on the telephone wire? She wanted to lay it on the line!

How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub? They both have rings!

What did the answering machine say to the telephone? Take my word for it.

How does a cheerleader answer the phone? H-E-L-L-O!

How can you tell if a bee is on the phone? You get a buzzy signal.

How does a lobster answer the phone? Shello?

If you cross a telephone and a pair of scissors, what do you get?Snippy answers.