Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches?They prefer cricket matches!

What stories are told by basketball players?Tall stories!

Who won the race between two balls of string?They we’re tied!

What is a goal keepers favourite snack?Beans on post!

How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?Hide the ball, it drives them nuts!

What’s tennis players favourite city?Volley wood!

How does a physicist exercise?By pumping ion!

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?Because education pays off in the long run!

What is a runner’s favourite subject in school?Jog-raphy!

What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas?Ince pies!

What does a footballer and a magician have in common?Both do hat tricks!

How do hens encourage their football teams?They egg them on!