Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches?They prefer cricket matches!

What stories are told by basketball players?Tall stories!

Who won the race between two balls of string?They we’re tied!

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?Because education pays off in the long run!

What is a runner’s favourite subject in school?Jog-raphy!

What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas?Ince pies!

What does a footballer and a magician have in common?Both do hat tricks!

How do hens encourage their football teams?They egg them on!

Which football team loves ice-cream?Aston Vanilla!

What lights up a football stadium?A football match!

If you have a referee in football, what do you have in bowls?Cornflakes!

Why aren’t football stadiums built in outer space?Because there is no atmosphere!