Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches?They prefer cricket matches!
Ref: I’m sending you off Player: What for?Ref: The rest of the match!
Why is it that birds are quickly sold when they come up on the transfer market?They tend to go cheep!
How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?Hide the ball, it drives them nuts!
Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?Because education pays off in the long run!