“How was your golf game, dear?” asked Jack’s wife Tracy.”Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight’s gotten so bad, Icouldn’t see where the ball went.””You’re seventy-five years old, Jack!” admonished his wife. “Why don’t you take my brother Scott along?””But he’s eighty-five and doesn’t even play golf anymore,” protested Jack.”Yes, but he’s got […]
A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, “Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!” The golfer, annoyed, says, “What is it?” “It’s a special golf ball,” says the salesman. “You can never lose […]
Golfer: “I’ve played so poorly all day; I think I’m going to go drown myself in that lake.”Caddy: “I doubt you could keep your head down that long.”
Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course.”Caddy: “Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.”
The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. “Your holiness,” said one of the Cardinals, “Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match.” The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held […]
Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. “Bad day at the course?” his wife asked. “Everything was going fine,” he said. “Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee.” “Oh, that’s awful!” “You’re not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit […]
A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.” The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.” […]
The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.”Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?” she asked the instructor.”P-u-t-t is correct,” he replied.”Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing.”
A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning.His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. “Is that so?” the first said. “Did he do a good job?””Well, I was on the […]
After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, “Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?” “Yes,” the golfer responded. “Did you […]
