Why are football grounds odd?Because you can sit in the stands but can’t stand in the sits!
What do you get if you drop a piano on a team’s defence?A flat back four!
Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder playerFan: Why’s that?Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!
Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?So that they can pack the defence!
Manager: I thought I told you to lose weight. What happened to your three week diet?Player: I finished it in three days!
How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle?Somebody took a corner!
Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats?They might be cheetahs!
A manager was being interviewed after he had resigned from a football club?”Were the crowd not behind you” asked the reporter”They were right behind me all right”, said the manager, “But I managed to shake them off at the station!”
