If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? One dollar. You don’t know your arithmetic. You don’t know my father !

Mother: Did you enjoy the school outing, dear ?Jane: Yes, and we’re going again tomorrow.Mother: Really ? Why’s that ?Jane: To try and find the kids we left behind.

Why were you late ?Sorry, teacher, I overslept.You mean you need to sleep at home too !

Teacher: That’s quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it ?Pupil: I don’t know teacher. What will you give me ?

Our teacher talks to herself does yours ?Yes, but she does’t realise it, she thinks we’re actually listening !

What’s the longest piece of furniture in the school? The multiplication table.

Teacher: What happened to your homework? Pupil: I made it into a paper plane and someone hijacked it.

School Principal: I’ve called you into my office, Peter, because I want to talk to you about two words I wish you wouldn’t use so often. One is “great” and the other is “lousy.” Peter: Certainly, sir. What are they?

‘I’m not going to school today,’ Alexander said to his mother. ‘The teachers bully me and the boys in my class don’t like me.’ ‘Why ?”Firstly, you’re 35 years old. Secondly, you’re the principal.’

Boy to Friend: I’m sorry, I won’t be able to go out after school. I promised Dad that I would stay in and help him with my homework.

‘Ann!’ the teacher shouted one day at the girl who had been daydreaming out the window. ‘If India has the world’s second largest population, oranges are 50 cents for six and it costs $3 for a day return to Austin, how old am I ?’Thirty two!”Why did you say that ?”Well, my brother’s sixteen and […]

How many students does it take to change a light bulb?None. Light bulb changing isn’t in the course notes.