Teacher: Can you count to 10?Fred: Yes, teacher-one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.Teacher: Now go on from there.Fred: Jack, Queen, King.

Teacher: That’s quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it ?Pupil: I don’t know teacher. What will you give me ?

Our teacher talks to herself does yours ?Yes, but she does’t realise it, she thinks we’re actually listening !

Mother: Did you enjoy the school outing, dear ?Jane: Yes, and we’re going again tomorrow.Mother: Really ? Why’s that ?Jane: To try and find the kids we left behind.

Why were you late ?Sorry, teacher, I overslept.You mean you need to sleep at home too !

How many students does it take to change a light bulb?None. Light bulb changing isn’t in the course notes.

Johnny comes back from school crying and says, “Mommy all the kids in the school say I have a big head.” His mother replies, “No you don’t Johnny. You have a hideously deformed head. The other children are merely hiding the truth to protect your feelings.” […]

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. He wore it under his shirt and it was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest class […]

Did you hear what happened when there was an epidemic of laryngitis at school? The school nurse sent everyone to the croakroom.

Teacher: Why do you want to work in a bank, Alan? Fred: ‘Cuz there’s money in it, sir.

Teacher: Didn’t you know the bell had gone? Fred: I didn’t take it, Miss.

What’s the longest piece of furniture in the school? The multiplication table.