Teacher: Fred, I’m glad to see your writing has improved.Pupil: Thank youTeacher: Now I can see how bad your spelling is though !
Teacher: What’s the longest word in the English language ?Pupil: Smiles – because there is a mile between the first and last letters
Teacher: I wished you would pay a little attentionPupil: I’m paying as little as I can !
Teacher: In what part of the world are the people most ignorant ?Pupil: Hong KongTeacher: Why do you say that ?Pupil: That’s where the atlas says the population is most dense !
Teacher: You seem very well read, have you read Shakespeare ?Pupil: No Teacher: What have you read then ?Pupil: Umm, I’ve got red hair !
Teacher: In music, if “f” means “forte”, what does “ff” mean ?Pupil: Eighty
Teacher: What is can’t short for ?Pupil: Cannot missTeacher: and what is don’t short for Pupil: Doughnut !
Teacher: In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia ?Pupil: Holding up the telegraph lines !
Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of Pupil: Life imprisonment !
Teacher: Fred can you find me Australia on the map please ?Pupil: There it is Teacher: Now, Louise, who discovered Australia ?Pupil: Fred did !
Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class ?Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips !
