Teacher: Can you tell me something important that didn’t exist 100 years ago ?Pupil: Me !
Teacher: What’s the longest word in the English language ?Pupil: Smiles – because there is a mile between the first and last letters
Teacher: I wished you would pay a little attentionPupil: I’m paying as little as I can !
Teacher: In what part of the world are the people most ignorant ?Pupil: Hong KongTeacher: Why do you say that ?Pupil: That’s where the atlas says the population is most dense !
Teacher: You seem very well read, have you read Shakespeare ?Pupil: No Teacher: What have you read then ?Pupil: Umm, I’ve got red hair !
Teacher: In music, if “f” means “forte”, what does “ff” mean ?Pupil: Eighty
Teacher: What is can’t short for ?Pupil: Cannot missTeacher: and what is don’t short for Pupil: Doughnut !
Teacher: In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia ?Pupil: Holding up the telegraph lines !
Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of Pupil: Life imprisonment !
Teacher: Fred can you find me Australia on the map please ?Pupil: There it is Teacher: Now, Louise, who discovered Australia ?Pupil: Fred did !
Mother: Does your teacher like you ?Son: Like me, she loves me. Look at all those X’s on my test paper !
Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year ?Pupil: 12 – 2nd January, 2nd February…!
