The food in our school canteen is perfect.If your a bug!

What’s black and white all over and difficult?An exam paper!

Why aren’t you doing very well in history?Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!

What was King Arthur’s favourite game?Knights and crosses!

Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt?Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah’s court!

Father: How do you like going to school?Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I’m not too keen on the time in-between!

When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?Because there are no pupils to see!

Why did the teacher put the lights on?Because the class was so dim!

Teacher: How much is half of 8?Pupil: Up and down or across?Teacher: What do you mean?Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!

Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.So what’s so great about that?It’s snowing outside!

Teacher: Where is your homework?Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had

An ideal homework excuseTeacher: Where is your homework?Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had