Teacher: How much is half of 8?Pupil: Up and down or across?Teacher: What do you mean?Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!

Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.So what’s so great about that?It’s snowing outside!

Teacher: Where is your homework?Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had

An ideal homework excuseTeacher: Where is your homework?Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had

Where did all the cuts and blood come from?The school went on a trip!

What’s the worst thing you’re likely to find in the school cafeteria?The food!

What kind of food do maths teachers eat?Square meals!

The food in our school canteen is perfect.If your a bug!

What’s black and white all over and difficult?An exam paper!

Why aren’t you doing very well in history?Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!

What was King Arthur’s favourite game?Knights and crosses!

Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt?Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah’s court!