Teacher: You’re new here aren’t you, what’s your name?Pupil: Fred Mickey Smith
Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won’t be able to come to school today.School Secretary: Who is this?Pupil: This is my father speaking!
Father: I hear you skipped school to play footballSon: No I didn’t, and I have the fish to prove it!
A history jokeTeacher: When was Rome built?Pupil: At night.Teacher: Why did you say that?Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn’t built in a day!
Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I didn’t know where the Rockies were.Mother: Well next time remember where you put things!
Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America?On their feet!
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.Class: Hooray!Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!
Teacher: Is Lapland heavily populated?Class: No, there are not many Lapps to the mile!Teacher: Name an animal that lives in Lapland!Pupil: A reindeerTeacher: Good, now name another.Class: Another reindeer!
Teacher: That’s quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it?Pupil: I don’t know teacher. What will you give me?
Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4?Class: At once!
When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?Because there are no pupils to see!
