An ideal homework excuseTeacher: Where is your homework?Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked
An ideal homework excuseTeacher: Where is your homework?Pupil: I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away
Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?Pupil: 12 – 2nd January, 2nd February…!
Teacher: You’re new here aren’t you, what’s your name?Pupil: Fred Mickey Smith
Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won’t be able to come to school today.School Secretary: Who is this?Pupil: This is my father speaking!
Father: I hear you skipped school to play footballSon: No I didn’t, and I have the fish to prove it!
A history jokeTeacher: When was Rome built?Pupil: At night.Teacher: Why did you say that?Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn’t built in a day!
Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I didn’t know where the Rockies were.Mother: Well next time remember where you put things!
Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class?Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!
Teacher: What’s big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day?Pupil: The school bus!
Teacher: You aren’t paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?Pupil: No, teacher I’m having trouble listening!
