An ideal homework excuseTeacher: Where is your homework?Pupil: I put it in a safe, but lost the combination!

Why do teachers use a bamboo cane?Because when the cane goes ‘bam’ the child goes boo!

Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.Sandy approached and asked if she was all right. […]

Father: How were the exam questions?Son: EasyFather: Then why look so unhappy?Son: The questions didn’t give me any trouble, just the answers!

What are you going to be when you get out of school?An old man!

What did you learn in school today?Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!

Mother: How was your first day at school?Son: It was all right except for some man called “Teacher” who kept spoiling all our fun!

What do history teachers make when they want to get together?Dates!

Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?Pupil: Dead?, I didn’t even know he was sick!

Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to?Pupil: Nobody I know!

What’s yellow, has wheels and lies on its back?A dead school bus!

Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at Fred’s test paper.Pupil: I hope you didn’t see me either!