A student comes to a young professor’s office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.”I would do anything to pass this exam.” She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. “I mean…” she whispers, “…I would do…anything.” He returns her gaze. “Anything?” “Anything.” His voice […]

Man: “How’s your history paper coming?”Woman: “Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research, and it’s been very helpful. Man: “Really?”Woman: “Yes! I’ve already located 17 people who sell them!”

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: “Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face.” “Yes, sir,” the boys said. “Then why is it that […]

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’”A small voice […]

A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day’s lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil. “And who was it […]

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. “In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”A voice from the back of the room […]

I’m not going back to school ever againWhy ever not?The teacher doesn’t know a thing, all she does is ask questions!

Fred came home from his first day at school. “Nothing exciting happened”, he told his mother, “Except the teacher didn’t know how to spell cat so I told her”

What happens if you draw on the blackboard and the teacher told you not to?She draws a smack!

Pupil: I don’t think I deserved zero on this test!Teacher: I agree, but that’s the lowest mark I could give you!

Father: You were absent on the day of the test?Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!

“It’s clear” said the teacher, “That you haven’t studied your geography. What’s your excuse?” “Well, my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!”