Customer: You said these pants were pure wool, but the label says “all cotton.”Salesman: Oh, that’s just to keep the moths away.

Ned: What does your Dad sell ?Ed: Salt.Ned: Well, my dad is a salt seller, too.Ed: Shake.

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine’s Day? Rugs and kisses!

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the […]

A woman was shopping in a fairly nice dress store. Trying on a dress and liking it, she asked the salesman the price. When he told her she launched into a tirade about prices these days, covering just about everything from housing to auto tires.After ten minutes or so, the salesman had obviously had enuff […]

Had a door-to-door salesman call one time selling of all things — burial plots. I told him that we already had our plots in another cemetery.He seemed uncertain as to what to say next, but he recovered to say politely, “I hope you’ll be very happy there.” […]

Patient: Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself. Doctor: Why is that? Patient: I’m a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don’t want.

“No, no, no!” said the enraged businessman to the persistent salesman. “I cannot see you today!” “That’s fine,” said the salesman, “I’m selling spectacles.”

Salesman: Roll up, roll up! Come to our mammoth sale. Mammoth bargains to be had in our mammoth sale. Customer: Forget it! No one round here’s got room in their houses for a mammoth.

A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions.The reply came back shortly: “Begin vacation as of yesterday.”

Insurance agent to would-be client: “Don’t let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonite. If you wake in the morning, give me a call then and let me know.

The couple was standing staring at one of the more expensive models in the auto showroom. A salesman sensing their debate over the price moved in and said, “This model is priced just over the car which is priced a few dollars above the car which costs no more than some models of the lowest […]