Salesman: This jug is genuine Indian pottery.Customer: But it says “Made in Cleveland.”Salesman: Haven’t you ever heard of the Cleveland Indians?

Salesman: Would you like to buy a pocket calculator?Customer: No, thanks. I know how many pockets I have.

Customer: You said these pants were pure wool, but the label says “all cotton.”Salesman: Oh, that’s just to keep the moths away.

Ned: What does your Dad sell ?Ed: Salt.Ned: Well, my dad is a salt seller, too.Ed: Shake.

An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to a farmer. “Look at it this way sir.” he said finally. “How would your wife carry on if you should die ?””Well…” drawled the weather-beaten man, “I don’t reckon that’d be any concern of mine — long as she behaves herself […]

A policeman came upon a super-salesman about to jump from a bridge and yelled, “Wait, Fellow! Please don’t do that !!!”The salesman said, “Why not ?” and proceeded to expound on his views on the shaky economy, declining family life and Clinton politics.Shortly thereafter, they both jumped.

A woman was shopping in a fairly nice dress store. Trying on a dress and liking it, she asked the salesman the price. When he told her she launched into a tirade about prices these days, covering just about everything from housing to auto tires.After ten minutes or so, the salesman had obviously had enuff […]

Had a door-to-door salesman call one time selling of all things — burial plots. I told him that we already had our plots in another cemetery.He seemed uncertain as to what to say next, but he recovered to say politely, “I hope you’ll be very happy there.” […]

Patient: Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself. Doctor: Why is that? Patient: I’m a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don’t want.

“No, no, no!” said the enraged businessman to the persistent salesman. “I cannot see you today!” “That’s fine,” said the salesman, “I’m selling spectacles.”

Salesman: Roll up, roll up! Come to our mammoth sale. Mammoth bargains to be had in our mammoth sale. Customer: Forget it! No one round here’s got room in their houses for a mammoth.

A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions.The reply came back shortly: “Begin vacation as of yesterday.”