The Reverend Billy Graham tells of a time early in his ministry when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy had told him, Dr. Graham thanked him and said, “If you’ll come to the […]

There’s this cathedral that’s still being worked on, and the workers have rigged a “cage elevator” inside so they can get material up and down to the upper floors. A characteristic of these “cage elevators” is that the doors (gate) must be closed manually for them to be “called” to another floor. One day one […]

Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. “What’s going on here, anyway?” he asked.”This woman was found committing adultery, and the law says we should stone her!” one of the crowd responded.”Wait,” yelled Jesus. “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”Suddenly, a stone was thrown […]

A Nun and her friend, Sarah were playing golf. Sarah misses a 3 foot putt and yells, “Goddamn it, missed the bugger!” and the nun says, “If you keep saying that then God will punish you.” Next hole Sarah misses a 2 foot putt and says “Goddamn it, missed the bugger!” and the nun says, […]

God created the donkey & said to him : ” You will work unceasingly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence & you will live 50 years.You will be a donkey. ” The donkey answered: ” I will be a donkey, but to live […]

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So…. he told the associate pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.As soon as the associate pastor left the […]

The Chief Rabbi and the Pope are in a meeting in Rome. The Rabbi notices a fancy shmancy phone on a side table in the Pope’s private chambers. “What’s that phone for?” he asks. “It’s my direct line to the Lord!” the Pope replies.The Rabbi is doubtful, but the Pope insists that he tries it […]

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” With even greater emphasis he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”And […]

A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he for a long time.The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest, saying “Father, the dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?” Father Patrick told the farmer “No, we can’t […]

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in […]

The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why.”I’ll tell you why,” shouted Deacon Brown. “Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to register.””Well, interrupted the dealer, “didn’t you receive them yet?””Oh, […]

This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made.The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way.The first Sunday, my […]