A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church.However, the atheist’s life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, and […]

A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago wasstranded late one night at a fashionable resort – one that didnot admit Jews.The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, “Sorry, noroom. The hotel is full.” The Jewish lady said, “But yoursign says that you have vacancies.” The desk clerkstammered and then […]

There’s this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parishwho kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said,”If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!” Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someonewho had committed adultery would say they had […]

A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end…”And lead us not into temptation”, she prayed, […]

When the airline Captain announced they were flying over Salt LakeCity, Utah, a womantold the man sitting beside her, “I understand this is the home of theMormon religionwhere husbands believe it’s OK to have more than one wife.” That’strue,” he replied, “asa matter of fact I happen to be a Mormon myself and have nine […]

An old drunk stumbles into a confessional. After not hearing anythingfor a while thePriest knocked on the wall. The drunk said forget it buddy there’s nopaper in here either.

The Reverend Billy Graham tells of a time early in his ministry when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy had told him, Dr. Graham thanked him and said, “If you’ll come to the […]

There’s this cathedral that’s still being worked on, and the workers have rigged a “cage elevator” inside so they can get material up and down to the upper floors. A characteristic of these “cage elevators” is that the doors (gate) must be closed manually for them to be “called” to another floor. One day one […]

Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. “What’s going on here, anyway?” he asked.”This woman was found committing adultery, and the law says we should stone her!” one of the crowd responded.”Wait,” yelled Jesus. “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”Suddenly, a stone was thrown […]

A Nun and her friend, Sarah were playing golf. Sarah misses a 3 foot putt and yells, “Goddamn it, missed the bugger!” and the nun says, “If you keep saying that then God will punish you.” Next hole Sarah misses a 2 foot putt and says “Goddamn it, missed the bugger!” and the nun says, […]

God created the donkey & said to him : ” You will work unceasingly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence & you will live 50 years.You will be a donkey. ” The donkey answered: ” I will be a donkey, but to live […]

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So…. he told the associate pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.As soon as the associate pastor left the […]