There’s this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parishwho kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said,”If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!” Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someonewho had committed adultery would say they had […]

A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end…”And lead us not into temptation”, she prayed, […]

When the airline Captain announced they were flying over Salt LakeCity, Utah, a womantold the man sitting beside her, “I understand this is the home of theMormon religionwhere husbands believe it’s OK to have more than one wife.” That’strue,” he replied, “asa matter of fact I happen to be a Mormon myself and have nine […]

An old drunk stumbles into a confessional. After not hearing anythingfor a while thePriest knocked on the wall. The drunk said forget it buddy there’s nopaper in here either.

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He’s met by thereception committee, andafter a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriadrecreations available.He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text ofthe Holy Scriptures, andspends the next eon or so learning the languages. After becoming alinguistic […]

An elderly man was quite unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat.Instead of buying anew one, he decided he would go to church and swipe one out of thevestibule. When hegot there, an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a pewwhere he had to sitand listen to the entiresermon on […]

Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None survived. One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the Creator of all. Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three. “Reform I can understand. But where will it end? You! […]

The Baptist preacher just finished his sermon for the day and proceeded toward the back of the church for his usual greetings and handshaking as the congregation left the church. After shaking a few adult hands he came upon the seven year old son of one of the Deacons of the church. “Good morning, Jonathan,” […]

As Bill was approaching mid-life, physically he was a mess. Not only was he going bald, but years of office work had given him a large pot belly. The last straw came when he asked a woman co-worker out on a date, and she all but laughed at him. That does it, he decided. I’m […]

This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to […]

The Reverend Billy Graham tells of a time early in his ministry when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy had told him, Dr. Graham thanked him and said, “If you’ll come to the […]

There’s this cathedral that’s still being worked on, and the workers have rigged a “cage elevator” inside so they can get material up and down to the upper floors. A characteristic of these “cage elevators” is that the doors (gate) must be closed manually for them to be “called” to another floor. One day one […]