Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital),and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation wentwell and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he wasreassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.”Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,” said the nun, gentlypatting his hand. “We do need […]
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?A: He sold his soul to Santa.
Q: What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?A: It only takes one nail to hang the picture.
Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a headcovering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrivedwithout her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied toher head. The shocked priest says, “Madam, I […]
Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing and Jesus says to Moses “I want to do a miracle so we can feel like the good old days.” and Moses says “Yeah sure.” So Jesus gets up and says “I think I’ll walk on the water, that was always a good one.” So Jesus […]
A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogueacross the street from each other. Since their schedulesintertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car.So they did. They drove it home and parked it in thestreet between their establishments. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw thepriest sprinkling […]
There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane wasbeing rocked by some severe turbulence. So this kindly old lady looked upon Death’s door, and said to her papal neighbour. ‘Father, surely you can do something about this…’To which the Pope replied, ‘Sorry lady, […]
Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Ladyof Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state ofagitation. “Father!” she cried, “just WAIT until you hear this!”The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, ” Now just calmdown and tell me what has you so excited?” “Well, father” the nunbegan, […]
When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he wentout and bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might noticehim on the parade route. When he went to the parade, there wasthis bum standing next to him, with old, dirty clothes on. Thethe guy’s amazement, when the Pope came, he […]
Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of theweekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priestexplained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a fewpaces back and pitched the money towards the circle. Whatlanded in the circle he kept and what landed outside thecircle god kept.The second priest claimed that […]
A few years ago, when the Catholic church reform began to be muchin the news, Mrs. Moskowitz said to Mrs. Finkelstein, “Tell me,Becky, have you heard by chance what’s going on in Rome?””No,” said Mrs Finkelstein. “I haven’t. What’s going on in Rome?””A meeting of high Catholic churchmen has, among other things,decided that the Jews […]
On the steps of this church two pan handlers were doing their dailybusiness. One wore a large cross on his chest and the other – a starof David. Of course, most of the church goers generously gave to thecross wearer and the other was overlooked.Finally the Pastor approached the Jew and suggested that if he […]
