Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?A: He sold his soul to Santa.
Q: What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?A: It only takes one nail to hang the picture.
Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a headcovering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrivedwithout her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied toher head. The shocked priest says, “Madam, I […]
Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing and Jesus says to Moses “I want to do a miracle so we can feel like the good old days.” and Moses says “Yeah sure.” So Jesus gets up and says “I think I’ll walk on the water, that was always a good one.” So Jesus […]
A little Catholic kid was praying as hard as he could.’God,’ he prayed, ‘I really want a car.’Jumping up and dashing to the window, he saw that the driveway was empty.’God,’ he prayed again, ‘I really NEED a car.’Still no answer to his prayers. Suddenly the kid stood up, ran into his parents’ bedroom, and […]
When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he wentout and bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might noticehim on the parade route. When he went to the parade, there wasthis bum standing next to him, with old, dirty clothes on. Thethe guy’s amazement, when the Pope came, he […]
Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of theweekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priestexplained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a fewpaces back and pitched the money towards the circle. Whatlanded in the circle he kept and what landed outside thecircle god kept.The second priest claimed that […]
A few years ago, when the Catholic church reform began to be muchin the news, Mrs. Moskowitz said to Mrs. Finkelstein, “Tell me,Becky, have you heard by chance what’s going on in Rome?””No,” said Mrs Finkelstein. “I haven’t. What’s going on in Rome?””A meeting of high Catholic churchmen has, among other things,decided that the Jews […]
On the steps of this church two pan handlers were doing their dailybusiness. One wore a large cross on his chest and the other – a starof David. Of course, most of the church goers generously gave to thecross wearer and the other was overlooked.Finally the Pastor approached the Jew and suggested that if he […]
After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided I’m going to be a minister when I grow up. “That’s okay with us,” the mother said, “But what made you decide to be a minister?” “Well,” the boy replied, “I’ll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, […]
A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow’s absence after so many years of faithful attendance the Rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, “How come after all these years we don’t see you at […]
The Pope took a philosophy professor (an atheist at that) out fishing ona large lake. As they drifted on the still lake, the philosopheraccidentally dropped an oar and watched it float away. The pontiffstepped out of the boat, walked across the water to the oar, grabbed itand walked back to the boat. The next day […]
