Seymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven. “Hungry, Seymour?” the Lord asked.”I could eat,” said Seymour.The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it.While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and noticed the inhabitants […]
Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?””I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests.””I don’t mean that,” the […]
This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equallyfundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping.At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog theyliked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm […]
A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy’s mind, sat him and said: “God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white.”To which the child responded, “Well, then […]
Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, “Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?”The priest says, “Because I’m a father.”Johnny says, “Yeah? Well, my old man’s got three kids and he don’t wear his collar backwards.”The priest says “You don’t understand, son. I have thousands of […]
A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Nearthe cash register he saw a display of caps with “WWJD”printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letterscould mean, but couldn’t figure it out, so he asked the clerk.The clerk replied that the letters stood for “What Would JesusDo”, and […]
What is the meaning of life?All evidence to date suggests it’s chocolate.
On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while, he turned the the bishop sitting next to him and said,”What’s a four -letter word ending in “unt” which means “woman”?The bishop said,”Did you try “aunt”?The Pope said,”Mmmm. Do you have an eraser?”
While leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed a member ofthe congregation, Bernie, walk in with a St. Bernard dog. The Rabbi,horrified, asked the Cantor to continue the service and went to talk toBernie.Rabbi: “What are doing here with a dog?”Bernie: “The dog came here to pray.””Oh, come on.” says the Rabbi.”YES!” says Bernie.Rabbi: […]
Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, “Ya know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything-noise, spray, cats-nothingseems to scare them away. Another said, “Yea, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the […]
