Examiner: I think you know very little, if anything at all, about the Bible. Can you quote any passage? Student: ‘Judas departed and went and hanged himself.’ Examiner: Well, that’s a surprise. Can you quote another? Student: ‘Go thou and do likewise.’
Jill: Have you read the Bible? Jack: No, I’m waiting for the film to come round.
What’s black and white, black and white, black and white? A nun rolling down a hill.
Who is the fastest runner in history.Adam – because he was the first in the human race.
Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, “Ya know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything-noise, spray, cats-nothing seems to scare them away. Another said, “Yea, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in […]
God is sitting up in his ivory tower, he’s had enough of the pressures and stresses of being the number one, so he’s decided to go on holiday. He calls all his super-being mates up and they pop around to discuss a few suggestions. “What about Mars,” says one of them. “Nah I went there […]
An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends andsays with a warm smile, “I gladdened seven hearts today.” “Seven hearts?” asks the friend. “How did you do that?” The rabbi strokes his beard and replies, “I performed three marriages.” The friend looks at him quizically.”Seven?” he asks. “I could understand six, but…” “What […]
A minister was asked by a politician,”Name something the government can do to help the church.”The minister replied, “Quit making one dollar bills.”
On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while, he turned the the bishop sitting next to him and said,”What’s a four -letter word ending in “unt” which means “woman”?The bishop said,”Did you try “aunt”?The Pope said,”Mmmm. Do you have an eraser?”
One day God called the Pope, and he said “John Paul I have good news and bad news. First the good news. I am tired of all the squabbling between the religions. I have decided there will be only the one true religion”. The Pope was overjoyed and told God how wise his decision was, […]
