Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, “Ya know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything-noise, spray, cats-nothing seems to scare them away. Another said, “Yea, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in […]
God is sitting up in his ivory tower, he’s had enough of the pressures and stresses of being the number one, so he’s decided to go on holiday. He calls all his super-being mates up and they pop around to discuss a few suggestions. “What about Mars,” says one of them. “Nah I went there […]
Who was the best actor in the bible ?Samson, he brought the house down !
Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy, one of the church elders offered to present him with a bottle on one consideration – that the pastor acknowledge receipt of the gift in the church paper. “Gladly,” responded the good man. When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder […]
What’s the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale ?You can’t keep a good man down !
At the first session of a conversion class theminister conducting the class asked, “What mustwe do before we can expect forgiveness from sin?” After a long silence, one of the men in attendanceraised his hand and said: “Sin?”
Morris was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring.He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle anda banner that said ‘N I L’. White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymnsto The Great Nullity ,The Blessed Emptiness, and The Big Zero inthe Sky. Morris turned to a […]
The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacherto began his sermon when two masked men burst into thechurch and said “Whoever is not willing to take a bulletfor Jesus better leave now.” More than half of thecongregation jumped up and ran out the door. The two men took off their masks, sat in the […]
A minister was asked by a politician,”Name something the government can do to help the church.”The minister replied, “Quit making one dollar bills.”
An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends andsays with a warm smile, “I gladdened seven hearts today.” “Seven hearts?” asks the friend. “How did you do that?” The rabbi strokes his beard and replies, “I performed three marriages.” The friend looks at him quizically.”Seven?” he asks. “I could understand six, but…” “What […]
A priest was vested in his surplus and cassock ready to process at the beginning of the service. His surplus was very ornate and he was swinging the incense pot which had smoke coming from it. A lady touched him on the shoulder and said, “Darling, I love your dress; but your purse is on […]
Seymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven. “Hungry, Seymour?” the Lord asked.”I could eat,” said Seymour.The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it.While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and noticed the inhabitants […]
