Q: How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two to sponsor the bill and thirty-three to constitute a quorum.

Three Republicans walk into a bar.The bartender says, “We don’t serve Republicans here.”The Republicans say, “That’s OK…We don’t serve you either.

Two men were stopped by a TV newswoman doing streetinterviews about the upcoming presidential primary election.”I’m not voting for any of the candidates,” the first man said. “Idon’t know any of them.””I feel the same way,” the second man said. “Only I knowthem all.”

The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news. “Ma,” he shouted, “the results are in. I won the election!” “Honestly?” The politician’s smiled faded. “Aw hell, […]

One day a boy and his father were at the dining room tableworking on the boy’s Social Studies homework, the chapterabout government. The boy turns to his father and asks,”Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?”The father replies without hesitating, “Oh, about ten percent.”

Definition:Politics Poli (Poly): Many…. Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creatures

A redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist:”I’d like to become the next President of the United States.”The receptionist: “What are you, an idiot?”Redneck: “Why, is it required?”

A little girl asked her father, “Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with OnceUpon A Time?”And he replied, “No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with ‘If Elected I promise…’”

I don’t think this whole White House scandal is good for parents. I caught my six year old son David in a lie, and he said we could discuss it tonight in a “National Town Meeting.”

When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was a failedexperiment headed for the ash heap of history, I knew he was ademagogue.When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was an evilempire, I knew he was a dangerous kook.When that fool Reagan said that we could end the Cold War byescalating the […]

A political man to a woman, “You look beautiful today!!!!”The woman replied, “Thanks, but unfortunately I could not say the same about you.””Sure you could!!” said the political man, “if you could lie as well as I do!”

Q: Why do they always fly around a live turkey in a cage on Air Force 1?A: For spare parts.