The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness.”Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?” inquired the officer.”Mister,” exclaimed the telephone lineman, “I […]

A young man was walking into town one day when a wood hauler gave him a ride.After traveling about a mile or two, the truck was stopped by the highway patrol for a weight check and inspection.The truck inspection revealed the truck had slick tires; no horn; no head, tail or signal lights; no windshield […]

The phone rings at FBI headquarters.”Hello? I’m calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!””Thank you very much for the call, sir.”The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but […]

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see’s a car puttering along at 22 MPH.He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!”So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old […]

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar.A $40 speeding ticket was included.Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40.The police responded with another mailed photo — of handcuffs.

This hillbilly is traveling across Texas when a state policeman pulls him over.”You got any I.D.?” the patrolman asked.””‘Bout what?” the hillbilly replied.

A farmer who’s been involved in a terrible road accident with a large truck ended up in court fighting for a big compensation claim.”I understand you’re claiming damages for the injuries you’re supposed to have suffered?” Stated the counsel for the insurance company.”Yes, that’s right,” replied the farmer, nodding his head.”You claim you were injured […]

A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but was not getting many.Then, he discovered the problem; a 10 year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read, “SPEED TRAP AHEAD”.The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign painted “TIPS” and a […]

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial — it went like this:Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.Q: Officer, who provided this description?A: The officer who responded to the […]

A farmer and his pig were driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.The cop asked the farmer, “Didn’t you know it is against the law to ride with a pig in the front of you truck?”The farmer replied, “No, I didn’t knowed that.”The cop ask the farmer where he was going and […]

Two guys were walking along a road in Georgia when they were struck by a police car driven by a drunken cop.One guy was thrown through the windshield and his buddy was knocked down an embankment.The first guy was charged with breaking and entering and the second with leaving the scene of an accident.

The Judge said to the defendant. “I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again.””Your Honor,” the criminal said, “that’s what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn’t listen.”