A very wealthy lawyer retreated for several weeks each year to his summer home in the backwoods of Maine. Every summer, he would invite one friend or another to stay with him there for a week or two.One summer he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to visit him. The friend, happy to get anything free from […]
How many cops does it take to throw a man down the stairs?None. He fell.
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:Officer: May I see your driver’s license?Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.Officer: The car is stolen?Driver: That’s […]
How many LA cops does it take to change light bulb?Six. One to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters.
My horoscope read, “You’re going places and you can’t be stopped.”Apparently the cop who gave me a ticket hadn’t read it.
How many cops does it take to change light bulb?Just one, but he is never around when you need him.Only one, but he has to see an officer do it first.Three, one to do it, one to direct traffic and one to say “Show’s over, nothing left to see here, folks, move along.”
Polceman: “I’m afraid that I’m going to have to lock you up for the night.”Man: “What’s the charge?”Polceman: “Oh, there’s no charge. It’s all part of the service.
Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man.The wife said, “He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, […]
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns. Cop: “Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway — why are you going so slow?” Sister: “Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65.” Cop: “Oh sister, that’s not the speed limit, that’s the name of the highway you’re on! Sister: Oh! Silly […]
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?A: I’d probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?A: It would be tough to be an idiot all day long.
– Santa Claus, one smart and one stupid policeman are walking together when they spotted hundred dollars on the ground. Who will take the money?- ???- Stupid policeman, since Santa Claus and the smart policeman don’t exist.
