Lady:(standing in the middle of a busy street) Officer, can you tell me how to get to the Hospital?Officer: Just stand where you are!!!

“I’ll have to report you, sir,” said the traffic cop to the speeding driver. “You were doing 85 miles an hour.” “Nonsense, officer,” declared the driver. “I’ve only been in the car for ten minutes.”

Two Rangers stopped a guy for speeding on the state highway in Waxahachie, Texas. As they were writing up the ticket, one Ranger turned to the other and said, “How do you spell Waxahachie?”The other one replied, “I don’t know.”So the first one said, “Well what are we gong to do? If we spell it […]

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer duringa felony trial – it went like this:Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching thedescription of the offender running several blocks away.Q. Officer, who provided this description?A. The officer who responded to the scene.Q. A […]

A local law enforcement officer stops a car for traveling faster thanthe posted speed limit. Since he’s in a good mood that day he decidesto give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of aticket. So, he asks the man his name.”Fred,” he replies. Fred what?” the officer asks. “Just […]

A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. You just won’t believe what happened this evening , in all my years on the force I’ve never seen anything like it. Oh yes dear, what happened ? I came across two guys down by the […]

An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns,drove through a school zone within the legal speed limitwhen the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture ofhis license plate.The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again;even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a thirdtime, at an even slower […]

“Now as I understand it, Sir,” said the police officer to the motorist, “you were driving this vehicle when the accident occurred. Can you tell me what happened?””I’m afraid not, officer,” replied the motorist. “I had my eyes shut!”

Policeman: Now, sir, how did you come to have this accident?Motorist: Well, the sign just there says, `Stop ? Look ? Listen’. And while I was doing that the train hit me.

The police are looking for a thief with one eye Why don’t they use two?

Police officer: And what do you think you are doing on this road, Dracula? Dracula: Looking for the main artery, officer.

What did the police officer say to his stomach? I’ve got you under a vest.