One day, a grandpa and his grandson go golfing. The young one is really good and the old one is just giving him tips. They are on hole 8 and there is a tree in the way and the grandpa says, “When I was your age, I would hit the ball right over that tree.” […]

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.”The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this […]

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.

How can you tell that you’re getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!

Are you getting older and wiser? No, he’s getting older and wider!

Do you think my skin is starting to show its age?””I can’t tell. There are too many wrinkles.”

Seventy-two-year-old Edgar recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, the doctor said Edgar was doing “fairly well” for his age.A little concerned about that comment, Edgar couldn’t resist asking the doctor, “Do you think I’ll live to be 80?”The doctor asked, “Well, do you smoke or drink beer?””Oh […]

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at […]

“Grandma, why don’t you drink tea anymore?” “I don’t like it ever since that tea bag got stuck in my throat.”

An 80-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he’s feeling. “I’ve never been better!” he replies. “I’ve got an 18-year-old bride who’s pregnant and having my child! Whatdo you think about that?”The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, “Well, let me tell you a story. I know a […]

My grandma has so many wrinkles she has to screw her hat on.

Why is it easy to break in to an old man’s house? Because his gait is broken, and his locks are few.