Q: Why shouldn’t violists take up mountaineering?A: Because if they get lost, it takes ages before anyone notices that they’re missing.
Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the greenroom after a concert.”There’s not much room on this page,” he said. “What shall I write?”Another violinist, standing by, offered the following helpful hint, “Write your repertoire.”
Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what life in Heaven is like. Poor Max has a heart attack and dies.He manages to make contact with Abe the next day.Abe says, “I can’t believe this worked! So what is it like in Heaven?”Max replies, “Well, […]
“Haven’t I seen your face before?” a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.”You have, Your Honor,” the man answered hopefully. “I gave your son violin lessons last winter.””Ah, yes,” recalled the judge. “Twenty years!”
Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
Q: Why is a violinist like a Scud missile?A: Both are offensive and inaccurate.
Q: What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?A: Terrorists have sympathizers.
Q: Why don’t violists play hide and seek?A: Because no one will look for them.
Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.
Q: What is the difference between a violin and a viola?A: A viola burns longer.
Q: Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?A: It is usually still in the case.
Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?A: Sit in the back and don’t play.
