Q. What’s the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe? A. You can tune the lawnmower, and the owner’s neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don’t return it.
Q: Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses?A: So they don’t disgrace themselves in parades.
Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?A: To get away from the noise.
Q: What’s the only thing worse than a bagpiper?A: Good question. We’re still trying to find out too.
Q: What’s the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion?A: A chainsaw can be tuned.
Q: What’s the definition of perfect pitch?A: When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides.
Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument?A: Hide it in an accordion case.
Q: What is the definition of an optimist?A: An accordion player with a pager.
Q: What’s the range of an accordion?A: Twenty yards if you’ve got a good arm!
Q: What’s the difference between an onion and an accordion?A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.
Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, “Where are we?”Rachmaninov said, “Carnegie Hall, sir!”
