Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.
Q: Why did the Boy Scout take up the banjo?A: They make good paddles.
Q: What’s the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone? A: A Rolling Stone says “hey you, get off of my cloud!”, while a Scotsman says “Hey McLeod, get off of my ewe!”
Q. What’s the definition of a quarter tone? A. A bagpiper tuning his drones.
Q. What’s the difference between a dead bagpiper in the road and a dead country singer in the road? A. The country singer may have been on the way to a recording session.
Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune bagpipe player, an out of tune bagpipe player, or Santa Claus? A. The out of tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate you have been hallucinating.
Q. Why do bagpipers leave their cases on their dashboards? A. So they can park in handicapped zones.
Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch? A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.
Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded? A. You don’t have to be very good to get people’s attention.
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get away from the bagpipe recital.
