Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control?A: Their personality.
Q: What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong?A: King Kong is more sensitive.
Q: There is a frog driving east and a trombonist walking west. What can be surmised from this?A: The frog’s probably on its way to a gig.
Q: What is the difference between a trombone and a trumpet?A: A trombone will bend before it breaks.
Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.
Q: What’s the definition of a gentleman?A: One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn’t!
Q: If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?A: The out-of-tune sax player! You were hallucinating the other two.
Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?A: Five. One to handle the bulb, and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would’ve done it.
Q: What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner’s neighbors don’t mind if you don’t return the sax when you borrow it.
Q: Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, “Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?” A: The other replies, “That was no piccolo, that was my fife.”
Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?A: It’s all in the grip.
