What’s big and ugly and drinks out of the wrong side of the glass?A monster trying to get rid of hiccups.

Why did the monster dye her hair yellow?To see if blondes have more fun.

What would you get if you crossed a monster with a redcoat? A bigger target.

How do you stop a monster from smelling?Cut off his nose.

Where do you find monster snails?On the end of monsters fingers.

Where do space monsters live?In far distant terror-tory.

What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes? Prankenstein!

What would you get if you crossed a monster with a Thanksgiving dessert? Bumpkin pie!

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?He was exceeding the feed limit!

What did the monster say to the Thanksgiving turkey? “Pleased to eat you!”

How does a monster begin a fairy tale?”Once upon a slime . . .”

Girl Monster 1: “I hear you’ve met the perfect guy.” Girl Monster 2: “Oh yes, he’s a bad dream come true!”