Paddy ‘n’ Mick join the army, and are put on street patrol in a city with a military curfew. They are given instructions to shoot anybody who’s on the streets after 6 o’clock. So one day, they’re out at twenty to 6, when Paddy spots a man walking on the other side of the street. […]
– How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?- None. People that glow in the dark don’t need lights.
– How many Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb?- That is a military secret. If I told you I’d have to kill you.
– How many Iraqis does it take to launch a Scud missile?- Two. One to launch it, one to watch CNN to find out where it landed.
Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle.”That’s no problem, son,” said the sergeant. “Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’.””But what about a bayonet, Sarge?” asked the young (and gullible) recruit.The sergeant pulls a piece […]
We have women in the military, but they don’t put us in the front lines. They don’t know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, ‘You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat […]
Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf?They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. “Obviously the Air Force knows there’s no such thing as a ‘perfectly good aircraft,’” the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon, “because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in […]
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, “Why do you want to join the Navy, son?””My father said it’d be a good idea, sir.””Oh? And what does your father do?””He’s in the Army, sir.”
The Pentagon once did a study on why so many American Servicemen marry women in the countries where they’re stationed. Contrary to popular belief, loneliness had nothing to do with it. Once the men rotated back to the US, all their in-laws were thousands of miles away.
Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit. Being an all male combat force, they decided to request coeds from some of the surrounding colleges to attend. The Captain called Vassar and was assured by the Dean that arrangements could be made to […]
A sailor in the Navy who had been at sea for a long time was anxious to be reunited with his girlfriend, so he sent her the following message a few days before his ship was due back in port: “I have missed you so much and I can’t wait to make love to you. […]
