A recruit examines the food served to him in the batallion dining room.- Do I have any choice here, he asks a sergeant.- Yes, you do. You may eat it or not.
This is the difference between a lousy Golfer and a lousy Parachutist. The lousy Golfer goes splash then damn. The lousy Parachutist goes damn then splash.
Father Murphy walked into a pub and said to the first Marine he met, “Do you want to go to heaven?” The Marine said, “I do Father.” The priest said, “Leave this pub right now!” He then approached a second Marine. “Do you want to got to heaven?” “Certainly, Father,” was the Marine’s reply. “Then […]
A Maintenance Battalion in Germany had just received a brand new Executive Officer, an Armor Major. The Major proceeded to issue new SOP directives (Standard Operating Procedures) that WOULD be followed under all circumstances. One of these directives was that NO ONE over the rank of Staff Sergeant would drive their own vehicle, that was […]
I was an Air Force ICBM launch control officer in South Dakota. Two officers pulled 24-hour alerts in a launch control center that was surrounded by several Minuteman II silos. The facility and the silos were separated by several miles. We were not allowed to leave the “capsule” until relieved the next day, and we […]
A trooper asks a sergeant:- Is it true that man descended from a monkey?- Yes, troopers possibly were. But not sergeants.
A warrant officer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess”. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back […]
A patrol of allied soldiers were in a ruined city during World War Two. They are bragging and joshing about how many kills they have so far to keep up courage on their route through the rubbled buildings. Sergeant Joe thumps his chest and proclaims. “I got me 4 germans bagged so far. Howabout you […]
– What do you think about the coming battle, General?- God knows it will be lost.- Then why should we go for it?- To find out who is the loser.
At Parris Island, a sergeant was teaching a private to throw a grenade at a pracitice training course. He ran about 10 yards away to be safe, and yelled the instructions.”Pull the pin, throw and hit the dirt!”The private proceeds to do so, and throws the explosive directly at the sergeant!A few months later, the […]
A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. And then he accidentally locked himself out of the locker room. So now he was completely naked in the halls of the headquarters of the most powerful military organization on the planet. And he felt pretty ridiculous. Getting […]
