One out of every four people is suffering from some form of mental illness. Check three friends. If they’re OK, then it’s you.

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? “How long have you been having this phantasy?”

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? “Why does the light bulb necessarily have to change?”

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but he must consult the DSM-IV.

How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb?”How many do you think it takes?”

What do Psychologists say to each other when they meet?” “You’re fine, how am I? “

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I’m under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.Doctor: Tell me about your problem.Patient: I JUST DID, DIDN’T I, YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!

Doctor, Doctor, I think I’m a bridge. What’s come over you? Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach.

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?None. The light bulb will change itself when it’s ready.

Doctor, doctor, I’ve only got 59 seconds to live.Wait a minute please.