“Great news, Mr. Oscarson,” the psychiatrist reported. “After eighteen months of therapy, I can pronounce you finally and completely cured of your kleptomania. You’ll never be trapped by the desire to steal again.””Gee, that’s great, Doc,” the patient replied.”And just to prove it, I want you to stop by Sears on the way home and […]
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits.
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? “How long have you been having this phantasy?”
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? “Why does the light bulb necessarily have to change?”
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but he must consult the DSM-IV.
How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb?”How many do you think it takes?”
What do Psychologists say to each other when they meet?” “You’re fine, how am I? “
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I’m under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.Doctor: Tell me about your problem.Patient: I JUST DID, DIDN’T I, YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!
Doctor, Doctor, I think I’m a bridge. What’s come over you? Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?None. The light bulb will change itself when it’s ready.
