Attorney to witness: “What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?”Witness: “Where am I Cathy?”Attorney: “And why did that upset you?”Witness: “Because my name is Susan.”

A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to thedoctor, “Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me thefirst time and always asks me to repeat things.” “Well,” the doctorreplied, “go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and saysomething to her. If […]

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just dreamedthat you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. Whatdo you think it means?””You’ll know tonight.” he said.That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it tohis wife. Delighted, she opened it – to find a book entitled”The meaning of […]

A guy is dating three women and can’t decide which one to marry. He gives each $1,000 to see how well they can manage money. The first one spends $800 and puts $200 in the bank. The second one spends $200 and puts $800 in the bank. The third one puts the whole $1,000 in […]

An Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which […]

If your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine at you,what have you usually done wrong? Made her chain too long.

The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determinedto track down the father to extract revenge.”Was it my friend Sam”, he demanded.”No !” his weeping wife replied.”Was it my friend Jim then?” he asked.”NO !!!” she said even more upset.”Well […]

Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. “Oh Marie,” she said to her maid, “I have reason to suspect that my husband ishaving an affair with his secretary.””I don’t believe it for one minute !” Marie snapped.”You’re just saying that to make me jealous !!!”

I’ve never been much on fashion, but got quite a few compliments on a new sports jacket I wore to work one day. Mysecretary asked me where I got it and I told her that it was a surprise from my wife. I went home early yesterday, and there itwas, on the back of a […]

Two men are having an awfully slow round ofgolf because the two ladies in front of themmanaged to get into every sand trap, lake, andrough on the course, and they didn’t bother towave the men on through, which is proper golfetiquette.After two hours of waiting and waiting, one mansaid, “I think I’ll walk up there […]

A man calls his family doctor:man: Doctor, for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit.doctor: Ok, bring her in and I’ll try to help.man: Fine, but whatever you do, don’t cure her.

A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises frominside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floorof the living room naked. Wife yells, “help, help, I am havinga heart attack”, the husband runs in the other room to call thedoctor when one of his kids run up to him and […]