A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is […]

A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to […]

A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, “How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?” He got the following reply.”Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown daughter who then became […]

In olden times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar.Since then, weddings have been held there, and times haven’t changed at all!

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, “My dear guests . . . I have a proposition […]

A man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy courtship. On their honeymoon, they decide to take their horses through the beautiful mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the woman’s horse mis-steps and jostles the man’s wife. Once across the stream, the man dismounts, […]

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, “I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we’re going to be three in this house instead of two.”Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when […]

Jill tells her husband, “Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses.Now, why can’t you do that?””Gosh,” Jack says, “why I hardly know the […]

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?”His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.”The boy thinks about this, and then says, “Well then, why is the boy wearing black?”

At a friend’s wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, “I was just trying to be a good ring bear.”

As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, “I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I’ve slept with dozens […]

It’s for my mother-in-law,” explained the mourner at the funeral procession. Tightening the leash, he gestured down at the dog and said, “My Doberman here killed her.””Gee…That’s terrible,” commiserated the spectator. “But… Hmmmm… Is there anyway you might lend me your dog for a day or so?”The bereaved son-in-law pointed his thumb over his shoulder […]