Old Man On A Bench An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.”Well,” says the old fellow, “I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we have then have […]

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”

“Cash, check or charge?” I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse. “Do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked. “No,” she replied. “But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I […]

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.”The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream […]

Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?Father: I don’t know son, I’m still paying for it.

They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadn’t been talking to each other.Instead, they were giving each other written notes.One evening he gave her a paper where it said:”Wake me up tomorrow morning at 6 am.”The next morning he woke up and saw that it was 9 o’clock.Naturally […]

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn’t stop! The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just don’t listen. How do you do that? Says the […]

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.”The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!” An old granny overheard and spoke up, “Honey, if that’s all […]

A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, “Are they relatives of yours?””Yes,” his wife replied. “I married into the family.”

Some people ask the secret of Anthony’s long marriage.They take time to go to a restaurant two times a week: a little candlelight dinner, soft music, and a slow walk home.The Mrs. goes Tuesdays; He goes Fridays.

A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses… one for each year of her life.That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they […]

A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there.A farmer replied, “Joe’s mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died.””Well,” replied the man, “she must have had a lot of friends.””Nope,” said the farmer, […]