A little kid comes running into the backyard.He says, “Pop! Pop! Ma just got hit by a bus!””Son, you know my lips are chapped. Please don’t make me smile.”
Personally I think one of the greatest things about marriage is thatas both husband and Father, I can say anything I want to around thehouse.Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.
As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outsidea Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. “America,” the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab […]
In the midst of a veritable downpour, a gallant driver sawa woman alone in the mud trying to change a flat tire, andcouldn’t bear passing her by. He completed the job for her,and, soaked to the skin, exclaimed jovially, “There, littlelady, that’s done!” “Quiet,” she ordered him. “You’ll wakeup my husband. He’s taking a nap […]
A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, “Hey Tommy, wanna play house?”He says, “Sure! What do you want me to do?”The girl replies, “I want you to communicate your thoughts.””Communicate my thoughts?” said a bewildered Tommy. “I have no idea what that […]
Larry’s barn burned down, and Susan, his wife, called the insurancecompany …Susan: We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money.Agent: Whoa there just a minute, Susan; it doesn’t work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable […]
One night, Peter was home watching TV when his wife entered the room and asked, “If I died, would you remarry?” Peter thought for a second then said “Yeah I guess I would”. Then his the wife asked, “well would you have her as your golfing partner?” Peter replied, “yep I probably would do that […]
Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers?A. They’re hard to get started, they emit noxious odours, and half the time they don’t work.
Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?A. Shoot him again.
What’s the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary?Get married on his birthday.
What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?They’re married.
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town, and on this special occasion, a local newspaper reporter paid them a visit. He inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. “Well,” explained the husband, “it all goes back to our honeymoon. […]
