I’ve got trouble with the wife again – she came into the bar looking for me and I asked for her number.

We have a young married couple in the neighborhood who are trulyinseparable. Last week, it took four Howard County Policemen and adog.

But let’s get real here guys, I mean who exactly are we kidding ? Ahusband controls his wife in much the same manner as a barometercontrols the weather.

A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks tohis wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take tosay “Uh-huh” or “Yes dear” or “I’m sorry” ?

There were three guys in a bar. Two are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives. The third remains silent. After a while, one of the first two turned to the third and sez “Well… What about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife ?” “Well, on […]

I know a husband and wife who have separate bedrooms, drive differentcars, take separate vacations, work different shifts, have their owncomputers, and even have their own ISPs, separate e-mail addresses andHome Pages. They say they’re doing everything they can to keep theirmarriage together.

A man happened to meet his ex-wife at a party, and after a few drinks,he suggested that they might have another try at marriage. His ex-wifesneered in reply, “Over my dead body !”He downed his drink and replied, “Well, I see you haven’t changed onelittle bit.”

Following a bitter divorce a husband saw his wife at a party andsneered, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.”The wife simply sighed and replied, “Yes, dear, I know, but I was inlove and didn’t really notice.”

Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyonewho would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for twoweeks leave in which to get married.”But you just had two weeks off,” said the boss. “Why didn’t you getmarried then ?””What and ruin my vacation ?” she whined.

A few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her Fatherasked, “Does this fellow have any money ?”The daughter shook her head sadly. “Oh Daddy ! You men are all alike.”sighing deeply, she replied, “That’s exactly what he asked me aboutyou.”

A student engineer in the office got engaged some time ago. At herwedding, I was reminding her of the first day she wore her ring. Noneof the other women in the office even noticed.Finally, in sheer and total exasperation, she said “Boy !!! It’s sowarm in here today, I think I’ll take off my ring.”

A lady with a large flowery hat was stopped at the church door by theusher. “Are you a friend of the bride ?” he asked.”Certainly not,” she snapped, “I’m the groom’s mother.”