A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with his family. Suddenly, he spotted a fin sticking up in the water and fainted.”Darling, it was just a shark,” said his wife when he came to. “You’ve got to stop imagining that there are lawyers everywhere.”
How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?None, they’d rather keep their clients in the dark.
Lawyer: “Let me give you my honest opinion.”Client: “No, no. I’m paying for professional advice.”
You’re trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?You shoot the lawyer. Twice.
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how many orchards does it take for a lawyer?
If I had but one life to give for my country, it would be a lawyer’s.
If you laid all the lawyers in the world head to foot around the Equator, then…Hey, come to think of it, that’s not a bad idea.
In the construction field, it is often noted that lawyers make the worst clients. However, a couple of years ago I met an old carpenter that said lawyers were always his favorite clients! When I asked him why he got so much pleasure out of having lawyers as clients he replied, “I only build coffins […]
What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion?You cry when you cut up an onion.
Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working?Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer.
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, “lawyer” is always the third thing they look up?Because the first thing a child looks up is “dog.” The second is “snake.” And under snake, the encyclopedia says “See Lawyer.”
