Did you hear about the Brooklyn bubblebrain who was two hours late for work because the escalator got stuck?
The teacher asked a Louisiana teenager to count to five. The youngster proceeded to count to five on his fingers. Then the teacher asked, “Can you count any higher?” The boy raised his hands over his head and counted to five again.
How do Filipinos count money? One-a, two-a, three-a, four-a, another-a …
Did you hear about the Irishman who tried to swim the English channel? Halfway across he decided he couldn’t make it so he swam back.
Doctor: That deafness cure help your brother? Archie: Sure did! He hadn’t heard a sound in years, and the very day after he took that medicine, he heard from America!
“What did Shawn like most about his trip to Paris?” “He said it was lovely to hear the French pheasants singing the Mayonnaise.”
Did you hear about the Baton Rouge bride who cancelled the wedding when she heard her friends were planning to give her a shower?
Did you hear about the Georgia accountant who absconded with all the accounts payable?
Did you hear about the Omaha mother who got tired of putting name tags on her son’s shirts, so she had his name legally changed to “Machine Washable”?
Why can’t the Philippines field an ice hockey team? The players all drowned in spring training.
Why does the Philippines ban rectal thermometers? They cause too much brain damage.
