Did you hear about the Murfreesboro muddlebrain whose father told him about the birds and the bees? The next day, the Tennessean was stung by a bee and thought he was pregnant.
Why can’t the Philippines field an ice hockey team? The players all drowned in spring training.
How do Filipinos count money? One-a, two-a, three-a, four-a, another-a …
Did you hear about the Irishman who tried to swim the English channel? Halfway across he decided he couldn’t make it so he swam back.
Doctor: That deafness cure help your brother? Archie: Sure did! He hadn’t heard a sound in years, and the very day after he took that medicine, he heard from America!
“What did Shawn like most about his trip to Paris?” “He said it was lovely to hear the French pheasants singing the Mayonnaise.”
Did you hear about the Baton Rouge bride who cancelled the wedding when she heard her friends were planning to give her a shower?
Did you hear about the Georgia accountant who absconded with all the accounts payable?
Did you hear about the Omaha mother who got tired of putting name tags on her son’s shirts, so she had his name legally changed to “Machine Washable”?
Carmella and Mario were out on their first date. “Have you ever read Shakespeare?” asked Carmella. “No,” said Mario. “Who wrote it?”
