A guy walking down a street one afternoon passes an old man sitting on the side of the road with a large sack.The younger guy says to the old man, “Watcha got in the sack?”The old man responds, “I got some monkeys in that there sack.”The younger man asks, “If I guess how many monkeys […]

Why did Silly Sue throw her guitar away ?Because it had a hole in the middle.

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message “He’s lying” was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the truth. Believing the “lie detector” was working, […]

Jim sees his neighbor out back building a bunker, loading in 75 gallons of bottled water, hauling in a gas generator and so on. “So, uh, I guess you believe Y2K is a biggie huh?” “Naw”, says the neighbor. “Ah’s jes’ stockin’ the bunker now, ‘cuz if I did it any other time, people’d think […]

Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 11 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 175-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 25,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: “I’ve got smoke coming from the back of […]

I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time. Needless to say, she was very disappointed.

IRS Agent: What’s all this? Bracken: Well, you told me to bring all my records with me and I did. Here’s some by Willie Nelson, Tammy Wynette, and Garth Brooks . . .

Melburn was strolling along downtown Natchez with a framed picture under his arm. “Hey, what yew got there?” asked a neighbor. “I dunno much ’bout art,” replied Melburn, “but Ah just bought me an original Michelangelo for two hundred dollars! It’s one of the few he ever did in ballpoint!”

When a small Montana village decided to buy a new fire truck, the town council met to decide what to do with the old one. Randall, an old rancher, stood up. “Ah think we should keep the old truck,” he said.”We can use it for all them false alarms!”